| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...your singers are nicknamed "The Prison Quartet". A Prison Quartet is behind a few bars and always looking for the key. |
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up.
|
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last
names in the church directory. |
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one. |
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether
the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.  |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!) |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The choir is known as the "OK Chorale". |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...Baptism is referred to as "branding". |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the
logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy. |
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...Instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks. |
| You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...If... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink". |
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if..."Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too. |
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear" |
